Parents, Our Kids & The Internet

It’s no secret, children are growing up surrounded by tons of screens and internet access is everywhere. What feels a bit more secret, though, is: do other parents monitor their kids' online usage? Do they read their messages? Am I crazy for wanting to keep track of what my kids are doing on the internet? 

Our involvement as parents plays a huge role in shaping our children's lives, and it can have the same impact on their online experiences. In fact, it should! Here at Genie, us parents know that there’s a tricky seesaw of “I want to know what my kid’s up to” and “Uhhhh, is this weird that I’m looking at their browsing history?” We think that protecting kids online requires some involvement and help from parents like you, but today let’s talk about the landscape of online monitoring and whether you’re the only parent doing it (psst… you’re not). Let’s talk about trends, challenges, and the delicate balance of privacy and protection.

Am I The Only One Looking?

According to a 2014 Pew Research Center study titled "How Parents Monitor Their Teen's Digital Behavior" (check it out), 61% of parents in the United States reported checking their teen's browsing history recently, while 60% said they’ve been checking their social media accounts. 48% of parents go through their kids’ phones also, and this is all data from what, 10 years ago? 

Monitoring your kids’ online habits is not abnormal, and there’s many of us parents that agree that hey, if our kids are gonna be on the internet it needs to come with some expectations that they won’t have the privacy that they might want. Like a lot of things we do as parents, our kids might not always like that (especially as they get older), but we try our best to help them understand that it’s for their own good. There’s a lot of bad things on The Internet, and sometimes it’s hard for kids to tell what’s bad when they’re right in the middle of it.

The Case for Monitoring

Parental monitoring is based on just that, protecting our kids from the worst parts of The Internet. Kids can run into cyberbullies, online predators and just inappropriate content in general, when they’re not even seeking it out. It feels like with each news cycle, keeping an eye on our children’s online habits and activity becomes more and more important. If we can spot risky behaviors, situations, or interactions before they get out of hand, I think we owe it to our kids to help protect them, even if that means they might feel frustrated with the perceived lack of privacy.

Privacy vs. Protection

Usually, the debate about whether or not parents should be monitoring their kid’s online activity revolves around that timeless delicate balance between respecting children's privacy and ensuring their safety. We all want our kids to grow up safe and protected, free from the pain and worries we can shield them from. I’m fiercely protective of my family and when it comes to my kids I will always do whatever I can to protect them. But I also want my kids to grow up independent thinkers, with the self-confidence and autonomy to make good decisions for themselves.

Some argue that constant monitoring can erode trust and block the development of autonomy, and others say it’s a necessary precaution in today’s digital age. Both are valid, but it’s worth looking deeper into how we as parents can communicate and work with our kids to help build trust even when we’re monitoring their online activities. Some parents adopt a sort of level-up system where kids and teens can earn more privacy by showing that they’re trustworthy, some parents say “hey, if you want to be online this is how it’s gotta be”. Some parents (hi!) look for the best tools they can find to assist them. 

Tools and Strategies for Monitoring

Luckily, us parents today have a good amount of tools and strategies at our disposal to monitor our kids’ online behavior effectively. There’s everything from simple content filters that block out the big porn sites and the hate speech blogs to more comprehensive monitoring/reporting apps that can be installed on a child’s smart device. Our app, Genie, is the only way for kids to message each other truly safely, with realtime moderation and monitoring and a cool new AI friend for kids to learn and interact with. And way back when we first started building it, we already knew we wanted customizable parental controls, ‘cause every family’s different.

Trust and Communication

What’s super important to remember, though, is that while we can tailor our monitoring approaches to fit our family’s needs, it’s no replacement for talking with your kids. What’s happening online is sometimes happening in real life, and no site-blocker is going to help your kid when someone shows them a bad picture at school or cusses them out in the park. Communicating with our kids is the best way we can ensure we stay involved in their lives, get an idea of what they’re up to lately or struggling with, or notice worrying behaviors as they pop up.

Establishing a foundation of trust with your kids means a supportive environment where they feel comfortable talking with you about online safety, but that’s up to us as parents to set the example. By involving children in discussions about responsible digital citizenship and setting clear expectations for healthy, appropriate behavior online, we can help set them to make the best choices while staying safe, and building some trust together at the same time.

Internet Monitoring - Yeah, It’s Not Just You & Me

It’s hard work for us, balancing our kids’ online safety without totally compromising their sense of independence and privacy. But unfortunately, that’s just something we have to consider as parents. The good thing, though, is that you’re not alone. Parent monitoring online behavior isn’t one-size-fits-all, but it isn’t new or inappropriate, if it’s paired with communication. It’s important to consider your family’s specific needs and situations, but monitoring tools can be a seriously good addition to your online parenting.

And hey, when you’re ready to let us do some of the work for you, try us out. Genie monitors everything in realtime and can give you status reports on your kids. What they’re doing, who they’re talking to, what they’re learning about. Best of all, Genie is the only truly safe space for kids to message each other.

So why not try out Genie for free? Sign up's super fast - you can get your kids going in about 1 minute, invite a few friends to your new Genie group, and give yourself some peace of mind.